Friday, August 31, 2012

Perception, co-pilot to reality!

“Perception is the copilot to reality.” ~ Carla Harris. “If you can’t see it, you can’t have it.” ~ Ochuko

It is a given that people will give you advise of all sorts, like I am doing daily, but it is up to you to channel these positive words to form an agenda and a goal afterwards, because you are the emancipator and architect of your dreams and passion for success.

Since you are the captain of your life, you must dream and see yourself in the light of your dreams, build the “I can” mentality, and especially know when whatever you are indulging in is disrupting you from getting to that mark or derailing you constantly away from your dreams.

Know where you are headed and intentionally get involved in things that will ultimately lead you to that “big picture.” Right?


Perception, co-pilot to reality!
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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Clear the clutter!

The brain is huge; it processes information through associated neurons, which makes our body function properly. Not only is it saddled with the duty of making the body function properly, it is also saddled with the job of processing other stuff we deposit in it.

Why make your brain process junk that will not benefit you in anyways? Junk like talking about other people and crucifying them in the midst of friends, talking about how your dad’s or boss’s wife is a mean person, and so on and forth. Your brain doesn’t need to process all these information that will lead to nowhere. If it processes it, it sends bad signals to your body which will in-turn control your actions; in this instance, you may tend towards hate rather than acceptance.

This, to me is waste of time. Utilize your brain well in things that will spur your entire body to positive action that will yield good results in the end. Will you?


Clear the clutter!
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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Replace past failures with realistic steps to success!

In your quest for success, take emotional ownership for yourself by releasing your “would have”, “should have”, “If I had” to “I will” and “I can”.

Take inventory of past issues, and note with intent what led to some failures you experienced, and start involving yourself with stuff that will bring you success; overall be optimistic.


Replace past failures with realistic steps to success!
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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Pursue your talent earnestly and passionately...!

"Pursue your talent earnestly and passionately, for there-in lies your true ability, and success unimaginable.” ~ Ochuko A. “You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over hurdles and break through brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you.” ~ George Lucas Remember, that which you enjoy doing will cause you to forget your meal at times because you just enjoy doing it, and you are at peace with yourself.





Pursue your talent earnestly and passionately!
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Monday, August 27, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 68

“One with a good name is better than one with stupendous wealth who is looked at with disdain.” ~ Ochuko A.

Authentic people have integrity and can be trusted because they are the same within and without.

Has someone ever boasted and vouched on their life that you can be trusted, and that you are full of respect and have manners? If yes, congratulations! This is a rare achievement lots of people only wished for and covet. If you cannot be trusted what are you doing to redeem your name or person?

Work on having a good name as you work on being financially stable and otherwise, ‘it would be a legacy you and others will live to remember. Would you?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 68
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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 67

Courtesy equals authenticity, and “authenticity is being able to engage in things that are unbiased, spot-on; not compromising ones true values in the face of challenge/adversity. It is a state where one’s true values and inner desires synchronizes with one’s outer behaviors.” ~ Ochuko A.

Everybody loves the good stuff, and authenticity is the good stuff, but it takes courage and strong will to be authentic. Be that authentic person today. Will you?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 67
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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 66

When you receive a phone call and the caller says, “please help me with…” if you do not have the answer to the request, do not just transfer the caller to another line without letting them know you do not have the answer but will transfer them to another line for help.

Courtesy demands that you put callers in the "know" of whatever plan you have regarding their request. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 66
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Friday, August 24, 2012

The simplest and easiest preferred.

“...Next time you're faced with a choice, do the right thing. It hurts everyone less in the long run.” ~ Wendelin Van Draanen

"Right choices preferred regardless, produces a life full of tranquility." ~ Ochuko

The simplest and easiest things like honoring one another, treating others the exact same way we love to be treated and choosing to do right regardless which makes life beautiful and peaceful, most times becomes the hardest thing to do. Why is this?

Think of this for a moment, if we honor parents, siblings’, children, bosses, co-workers, teachers, even strangers etc regardless of the attitude put forward or their personalities, we will be at peace with ourselves and the world will be a better place too. Why not make the right choice by honoring everyone along your path without focusing on status. Honor cleaners in the office, hair stylist, waiters/waitresses, soldiers/military personnel, strangers, etc without a string attached and see how peaceful your life turns out. Would you do this?


The simplest and easiest preferred.
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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 65

Please, when it is past midnight (12am) have the courtesy and decency to switch off your phones or put them in “silence” mode, especially if you live with others like family or friends. If you live alone you are allowed 100% to keep the calls coming in, but for your health sake it is not advisable as you sincerely do want to have a good night sleep.

The same applies to persons who call friends or family members past midnight; except it is an emergency, please hold yourself till morning; you do not want to create an impression that you are restless or without common sense/manners.

Important: Do not be fooled when someone picks your call at such hour and listens to what you have to say; for the most part, they are trying to put your person on a scale/balance, if they realize it is something that could actually wait till morning, your friendship rating may drop drastically.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 65
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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 64

When one is conversing physically with someone else, there are body signals or gestures that give away one’s innermost feelings while one converses.

Facial expression and body language showing boredom or discontentment is very easy to detect. Likewise, texture of one’s voice while on the phone tells the person at the receiving end, whether or not one is courteous.

Do not find yourself raising your voice while speaking with someone you do not even know while on the phone. When you talk with someone on the phone, let the person at the receiving end hear a pleasant voice by adding a smile to your voice.

I know you may want to ask, “add a smile to my voice, how is that possible?” You can smile while you talk, and do that genuinely, because when it is done genuinely, it is felt. Playing along like this will last within 5 – 10 minutes and then the world is yours again. I believe it is not that difficult to achieve. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 64
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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 63

"A good mannered and courteous person take into consideration their personal appearance" ~ Ochuko

Are you one of those who say this phrase often, “I will live my life the way I choose to, it’s no body’s business”. You are absolutely right and wrong!

Yes it’s your body! Yes it’s your name! Yes it’s somewhat your life! But, you came from a family who expect the best of you in life, and so you have a family to shine for and a family name to protect. Your family is the one who would sing your praise if all goes well or to bury their heads in shame if the chips are down, and your family will still be the ones who will try to figure a way to assist you out of any mess. Furthermore, if you are a religious person, you live your life for God, and answerable to God and the body/association in which you function; so, this nullifies your statement above. Your life is not yours; a bad or good reputation will rub off on all you are connected to.

You ascribe to yourself, your loved ones and all you are connect to a good name, through courtesy and manners displayed in public and private. You do not dress like a hooligan or care less how you look when you are going to the marketplace/shopping mall. You do not keep finger nails long and dirty, hair unkempt and cloths smelly because “it’s your life”. You need to take a bath daily and wash and iron your cloths to portray a good mannered “you.” Courtesy/good manners and grooming cannot be separated. The cleaner your personal appearance, the more your good manners will be validated.

On the contrary, a well groomed outlook does not necessarily portray good manners, but good manner is only confirmed from the way people are treated and the words that proceed from the mouth.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 63
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Monday, August 20, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 62

The true makeup of a man will always dominate most of his everyday actions. ~ Ochuko

A man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Personalities don’t hide. If a person is calm, gently, proud, arrogant, ill-mannered etc. it shows up one way or another no matter how hard he/she tries to cover-up. Now, don’t get me wrong; this is different from a person’s patience being tried deliberately.

If you dialed a number in error, and someone at the receiving end says, “hello” be courteous enough to respond by saying, “hello, sorry I dialed the wrong number” before you hangup. It is serious bad manners to dial a number in error and at the same time hang-up when the person at the receiving end is saying, “hello”. You never know if the person on the receiving end is a senior/elder or sick person who managed to pickup the call. You do not want to complicate their problems.

Likewise, if someone calls you in error, be kind enough to tell them they dialed the wrong number, and do not be hash and brash about it. Always think and act “right” by thriving to be that "one" refined or genteel person out of a billion persons. Would you?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 62
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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 61

Bad manner as defined by Dove’s blog, is an unpleasant action or habit which causes discomfort or embarrassment to others.

Sometimes we indulge in certain habits that are unwarranted. Even when our conscience says, “no don’t” we still go ahead and do it all the same. How can one possibly explain why some people enter a bathroom/toilet with the intention of making themselves comfortable or easing themselves, but instead make endless phone calls while the toilet is locked to others for use?

This is definitely considered bad manners in the highest degree. Nobody will definitely be pleased to get to a bathroom door to ease themselves and find it locked, but suddenly hear someone talking endlessly on phone in the background? I bet, if it is an office setting, two or three consecutive bad manners of this sort will cost the perpetrators their jobs. You do not want to be in this situation, so please, do the right thing by taking your cell phones out the door so the bathroom/toilet will be available for others use.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 61
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Saturday, August 18, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 60

There are people who will never be a “Facebook fan” and there are others who were, but have learnt/learned their lessons the hard way, and have eventually deleted their pages as a result.

Facebook is a good place to connect with “friends" or people you know, not just anybody. Also, it is a medium of communication to friends. But, there are endless bad manners been perpetrated by the community of “Facebook fans” which has resulted in undocumented issues, such as wives losing their husbands or vice versa, and lots more.

“Tagging” is one aspect where bad manners is displayed; how can one explain why a person who is now an executive in an office be tagged in a primary/high school photo of 1950 pulling the hair of a girl while she screamed? It is absolute bad manners to tag people in an embarrassing photo that do not have any connection with the person tagged, but worst still is, when the photo used is from the “stone age.”

The usage of “tag” supposedly is to allow people who appear in a photo the opportunity to see themselves as a group. The purpose of “tag” is not to be used as a means to embarrass or humiliate people. Ask, if you are unsure your friends might be humiliated to see themselves in an embarrassing photo before you tag them. If you do not want to be tagged in an embarrassing photo or video, desist from tagging people, otherwise you will lose friends. You do not want be tagged as irresponsible and senseless, correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 60
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Friday, August 17, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 59

We all know that public or office bathroom/toilet are maintained by maintenance/cleaning crew, but that is not to say that we are to be careless in the way we use same.

If you use the bathroom or toilet wash basin, and there is soap residue, be sure to let the tap run for about 5 seconds to allow all soap residue out the wash basin. Don’t forget to wipe your hands and the wash basin area clean, as splash of water rest on that area while you wash your hands to keep the place ready for the next person.

Also there are instances where toilet papers/rolls are left lying on the floor accidently as a result of excessive pull, be sure to take that of the floor too.

Do not purposefully mess up the restroom with the intention that the maintenance crew are paid to do the cleaning. Remember, life is sometimes fair, as it gives to you exactly what you put into it. So, courtesy and manners requires every individual to be responsible when no one is watching; you really do not need surveillance while you use the restroom/bathroom/toilet. Do you?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 59
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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 58

Since time immemorial ladies have always been known for making up their faces right in the office, at the canteen, in the restroom and all places you can image or think of. It is also a known fact that ladies carry combs wherever they go so their hair can be remade /combed to maintain that fresh look. All these are not bad practices in themselves but the habits that go with this practice is what is absolutely annoying and regarded as bad manners.

If you are a lady and you use the office restroom/bathroom/toilet to refresh that makeup or hairstyle, please do not forget to clean up the mess after you. It has been reported or observed over and over that hair strands can travel a long distance, and it can really be messy and embarrassing having them around the office.

You do not want to embarrass the boss’s visitors/guest who may be around. That aside, good manners and courtesy to others warrants that you cleanup any mess you may have caused as a result of your usage of the bathroom regardless of VIPs (Very Important Persons’) that may be around. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 58
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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 57

Humans are not born equal. Some are born handicapped or slow to learn, and so they have real challenge with comprehending as quickly as other humans who are born complete or capable.

If you are in the category of humans who are able bodied or capable, you should be sensitive to others who are not. These categories of humans can be observed in classrooms or offices, where a student or employee finds it difficult to comprehend the way others do or they find it difficult to do the “normal” things others find easy.

Be sensitive; help them, if it means going the extra mile repeating yourself over and over so they grasp what you are trying to pass across please do. Do not make a joke out of them, help them. Making a joke out of their frailty or out of their incapability is termed an insult which can be likened to saying they are the cause of the condition they are in. Courtesy and manners which is regarded as common sense demands that capable humans be sensitive to the needs of others who are considered otherwise


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 57
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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 56

There lives a monster odor that is no respecter of persons but it is accommondated by many unknowingly and knowingly. Its source is from a very well-known place. It registers its presence stealthily and it transcends age, race, gender, ethnicity, country, etc. That place is the feet!

If you put on socks for more than two consecutive days you are guilty of this monster odor; If you do not air your shoes, you are also guilty of this monster odor; if you put on one pair of shoe without socks consecutively, you are guilty; if you take your bath without cleaning between your toes before you put on your shoes, you are also guilty. No one wants to be accused of this monster odor and at the same time no one wants to be the one terrorized by this monster odor.

First off, you do not want to be the one accused of spreading bad aroma and so you want to put on fresh socks every two consecutive days; it may not sound realistic but it is realistic if you have lots of socks and courtesy for others; I guess socks and respect comes real cheap.

Get rid of this monster odor by interchanging the shoes you put on daily and airing same, cleaning your toes after taking your bath before you put on your shoes and finally change your socks every two consecutive days. This should chase this monster odor far from your feet much more than any perfume can do. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 56
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Monday, August 13, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 55

Bad manners equals poor character ~ Ochuko

It is understandable that some children were brought up by foster parents and were not properly taken care of in terms of grooming, which cannot be held against them. Now adults they do not know when they are a source of odor wherever they set foot. The onus rest on society to help these to become the adult they are supposed to be. Not helping them is regarded as bad character.

Generally, grooming (shaving of underarm/other places necessary, and use of deodorant and/or use mild perfume/cologne and dressing clean) responsibility lies on adults themselves, so they won't constantly irritate people. Now, using strong cologne or perfume is annoying but eating a “delicious” meal in the office and irritating people by the odor/smell of the food is worse of and considered bad manners, but there is nothing as bad as constantly being a source of body odor to everyone.

When you do not take care of your body issues, it is regarded as bad manners and bad manners equal poor character. Please take care of your pretty self by constantly doing the right thing to keep you fresh and clean, and out of the "dirty eyes" of society. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 55
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Sunday, August 12, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 54

Anytime you are using your phone in public and by chance you see people steering at you with “dirty look” on their faces; it is probably because you are doing something very annoying like screaming or yelling while talking on phone or you are gesticulating too much while on phone. You may want to check that you are not doing something irritating. Courtesy demands that you respect the public as long as you are in their midst.

Bottom-line: When you see “dirty look” on the faces of people while you converse on phone, you should check yourself and see that you are not falling short of courtesy or manners.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 54
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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 53

When you are dining with others, do not stretch your arms across meals to reach for a bowl, spoon or to scoop food from a dish. Courtesy demands that you ask someone closest to you to get that thing you are seeking to you.

In a situation where the bowl is about 1 meter or 3 feet away from you, you should ask the person nearby or closest to you to pass the message to the next person and so on and forth, till it gets to you. Better still, if there is a waiter around, you should lift your hands and try to get their attention for help.

Never find yourself overreaching for something when you are at table with others. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 53
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Friday, August 10, 2012

Conflict resolution...the real deal!

When one's focus is on the right thing, issues will be resolved quickly. The steps below will help in the time of misunderstanding or conflict resolution

1.) Focus on one concern at a time instead of many.

2.) Focus on the difficulty/problem instead of the person.

3.) Focus on the word "we" instead of "you".

4.) Focus on performance/conduct instead of character.

5.) Focus on specifics instead of pointless generalized words.

6.) Focus on facts instead of intention/motive.

7.) Foucs on understanding the other person instead of seeking to win an argument


Conflict resolution...the real deal!
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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Tips for conflict resolution.

I have learnt/learned overtime, and in some instances the hard way, to consider certain things before plugging myself into resolving a conflict, and it has help me in my relationship with people. I do believe it can help you too.

Consider the below before you confront or resolve that conflict;

1.) Can i overlook it? If no, how best can i handle it without escalating it?

2.) What was my contribution to birthing the conflict?

3.) Is this the right time to resolve it?

4.) Am i trying to retaliate or restore peace?

5.) Can i speak the truth without venting my anger?

6.) What will be my strategy or approach in resolving the conflict.


Tips for conflict resolution.
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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Five bitter-truth to know before engaging yourself

It is just as important to BECOME the right person as it is to FIND the right person ~ Unknown author

Five things to know before engaging in marital affairs.

1.) It is not about you; it is about two.

2.) Selfishness is inherent in us; be ready to be selfless.

3.) Pain and hurt abounds but be ready to resolve issues & be happy again.

4.) Rely on the inner man to strengthen you as you experience a rough ride.

5.) Purpose to enjoy life regardless.


Five things to know before engaging yourself.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

50/50 plan a disaster in the making.

Yesterday’s blog was on being that which you earnestly seek in a friend/mate/companion. Today’s blog is on 50/50 plan a disaster in the making.

In a team of football players everyone member is saddled with his/her responsibility in making the team succeed. These responsibilities are very different from the other, and they function together to achieve a successful ending. If a member of a team is not functioning rightly, there will be issues with the bulk comprising of others, which may eventually yield a disastrous end result.

Whether you are in a marital relationship or any union you may find yourself. Every one individual is supposed to put in their 100% best to achieve success, either financially, morally, socially, etc.

50/50 input is disaster in the making, because in the end there will be lapses overtime that cannot be filled which can in-turn cost the team their success.

So, if you must succeed in or as a team, you must put in your 100% best not 50-50 best to achieve a good end result.


50/50 plan a disaster in the making.
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Monday, August 6, 2012

Be that which you so earnestly seek in a mate.

Most people seek friends who pay attention to detail, one who is calm in tense situation, one who likes to have fun, one who is organized, one who stays focused on a task, one who is good at getting projects off the ground, one who keeps to his words, one who gives generously, one who is easy to please, one who forgives easily, one who says, “I am sorry” when they go wrong, one who is hard working and focused, the list goes on. But, until you are what you seek; true friendship may elude you for a long time.

So, If you seek the above endless list, become the very same thing you seek, and you will find that exact same thing afterwards.


Be that which you so earnestly seek.
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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Success and Winning are not alone.

Confidence is the little voice in your head that tells you, you belong or you can make ~ Author unknown

Confidence is the springboard for success and winning. Success and winning are not alone; they are the offshoot of preparation. Little preparation produces poor result, whiles much preparation produces great result. Whatever you have purpose in your heart to do, do well and with excellence. Finally, never shun the voice inside you that tells you, “You can make it” because you really can!


Success and Winning are not alone.
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Saturday, August 4, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 52

Whenever you pull out a seat from a table in a waiting area, dining hall, school, restaurant, reception, etc. be sure to put back the seat where you first saw it after use. It is absolute bad manners to make use of a sitting area and just leave without putting back the seat where you found it. You do not want to be seen as one without manners and a sense of responsibility. Correct?


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 52
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Friday, August 3, 2012

Like begets like.

Life is a two way street; do unto others what you expect of them.

If you are looking for the right person, be the right person first. If you want a good job, invest in your self-development first. If you want a good life, sacrifice for it. If you are own a firm and looking for the best candidate to fit a position, improve your employment package. If you want respect, respect others.

Whatever you so desire or want, be ready to be that thing first and see how quickly your desire surfaces.


Like begets like.
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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 51

Pedestrians’ are everywhere. They are on the sidewalks, on roads, bridges and what have you. As a motorist, whatever category of instrument of movement you use such as bike, car, train, bus, motorcycle, etc. Please remember pedestrians or perambulators come first; you must make it a habit to put them first while you drive, and slam your break immediately you set eyes on them.

It is observed that in some countries, motorists are no respecter of pedestrians/persons; that is a barbaric act which is absolutely unacceptable and forbidden in the world of healthy beings.

As a motorist courtesy and respect for humans demands that you put pedestrians first as you ply the road, day in and day out.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 51
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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 50

When making introductions in a formal setting, you should introduce the person of higher ranking first before introducing the person of lower ranking to the person of higher ranking. Example: Mr. John Karla is the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of Morgan Rice Enterprise and Mr. Jackson Root is the Manager of Rocket Mail Enterprise; Start out by introduce Mr. Jackson as stated below:

“This is Mr. John Karla Executive Director of… please meet Mr. John meet Mr. Jackson Root Manager of…”

Courtesy and respect demands you introduce persons of lower ranking to the person of higher ranking. This is very important in a formal setting, make no mistake.


Simple courtesy for responsible living - 50
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