You do not want to be lonely!

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ~ William Shakespeare

In life, there are people you are inclined to love, and there are others you are inclined to hate. But, do not find yourself hating ‘cos it will take you nowhere near good, but bring you to a place of darkness and desolation.

Nobody wants to be in this kind of place, but we deliberately, in small increments indulge in acts that will take us there. Acts like, hating someone for no good reason, bullying, backstabbing, and setting-up others for failure.

If you do not want to be in the land of darkness, desolation and of the lonely, steer clear from hating and wrong doing. Right?

You do not want to be lonely!

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A better world with this model!

“You can expect to find these four priorities - education, economic vitality, efficiency in government and the protection of families - woven into my decisions as Governor. They will serve as my compass as I work with you to chart a future course for our state. “ ~ Dave Heineman

What a model! Can this beautiful line be a model for everyone in a position of leadership or authority to pursue and emulate with all malice, inclusive of everyone else?

We can expect a better world with this model. Correct?

A better world with this model!

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Be glad you were found worthy!

I like being humane, and at the same time, I like being honest and open about any and everything, and somehow cautious too.

First off, it is not easy to approach someone and ask them for help or assistance. And, if someone comes to me for help, I know they must have held in enough breath to carry them through that process of being with me. I normally tell myself that, if someone summons enough courage to ask for my help, I should be able to make them feel better than they first came, even if I could not assist them financially at the time. I really do not want a situation where someone became more depressed after they left my presence.

Why will someone ask me for financial assistance, it just get me turned off? Why will someone trust me that much to come to me, open up their hearts, and pour out their needy soul to get help in return, only to get stabbed? No! It is entirely wrong, childish, and unacceptable to act this way.

If someone ever asked you to assist them with funds, and you do not have it, have the decency to communicate politely and humanely, letting them know you do not have it at the moment, that, if you can help at all, you will let them know, but you are not making a promise. This is the sure way to go.

Do not be deliberately irritated or stop communicating because someone asked you for a simple thing, as funds. Be glad they found you worthy. Not everyone is worthy of being approached.

You want to make someone's day not spoil it. Correct?

Be glad you were found worthy!

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 79

Whether one is prepared for it or not, at one point in life one may share space with someone. It could be a hostel for students, an employment roommate or house mate, a camp, etc. This sometimes can be fun or misery. The outcome depends on the person who wants to accommodate another.

If you intend accepting a roommate, be prepared to ask one million questions to satisfy your curiosity regarding the makeup of this would-be roommate. If you do not ask the necessary questions, courtesy would rather have you keep shut, than fuss if things go south (not as envisaged).

Ask questions like; “do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” – This makes you know that you expect two people rather than one sometimes. “Do you smoke or do you party?” – This makes you know if the person will be opening the door at night sometimes or organizing party at the house sometimes, etc. After getting the facts about the makeup of the would-be roommate, and you feel you can put-up with them, it is time to tell them what is expected of them.

Let them know what is “acceptable” in the room/house, and what is not. Tell them there will be a schedule for cleaning the house, last but not least, let them know how the house bills (rent and electric) will be shared and paid off.

Most importantly, when you see some awkward behavior or practice around the house that does not tell well of the occupants, draw their attention to it politely; don’t forget to always be polite at all times. If they keep repeating stuff you already drew their attention to, remind them that this will lead to their eviction from the house if not stopped (do this politely too). Agreed?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 79

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The shortest route to greatness!

Let your thoughts always be in line with wanting to assist or help another. These are words that proceed out of the mouth of one who seeks to help another :

1) How can I help?

2) What can I do to help?

3) How can I make things better?

Do not let these words depart from your heart, mind and mouth; for it is the quickest route to greatness. Correct?

The shortest route to greatness!

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Pass things along!

Do you have cars that you sometimes don’t drive, but is parked in the garage for months? Do you have shoes that have been in your closet that have not been touched for months? Do you have ear-rings or cloths that you have not won for years? Do you have a spare camera or unused books? Do you have bag of rice or beans that has sat in your storage room for months? It is time to pass these things along. Give them to someone who is in need. Someone who is in need will use these things immediately.

Do not say, I am keeping it for my children’s children. Remember, we are in a fast paced age. Before your children’s children are birthed, another brand would have emerged.

And, how you tell you need to give something’s away is if you do not wear or use them at all or if they have accumulated dust in your house.

Anything that has stayed in your home for too long without usage is ready to be passed along. Would you pass those things along?

Pass things along!

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Worthy of emulation!

I read the Washington post on “the world’s 15 happiest countries”. Find it here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/the-worlds-15-happiest-countries/2012/03/29/gIQA6ZIFkS_gallery.html#photo=1

These countries where ranked the happiest--Denmark, Sweden, Canada, Australia, Finland, Venezuela, Israel, New Zealand, Netherlands, Panama, United States, Austria, and Costa Rica. By the way, Israel and New Zealand, Finland and Venezuela, Netherlands and Panama, each had a tie.

I thought to myself; what was the yardstick for this measurement? Is it the economic strength of a country and its people? I refuse to accept this ranking/rating.

In my opinion, China is one of the happiest countries in the world. Here is why: every Chinese I have ever met had a playful characteristics, and a smile to top it, even when we met as strangers.

The other day, I met a group of Chinese students and the same characteristics graced their presence. I was forced to rate China as number 1 happiest country in the world. My yardstick for measurement is an unofficial attitude, wrapped with a smile that tells me there is nothing to worry about.

China to me is the happiest country in the world, and worthy of emulation too.

Worthy of emulation!

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Would you make this your watchword?

Yes! This life is meant to be enjoyed, but not at the expense of loved ones, friends, strangers, community, or nation. In this life, we must endeavor to get better and seek to better someone else’s life too. So, this brings us to the three phases YOU must endeavor to see occur in your life:

DAF – DREAM, ACTION AND FULFILMENT

1) Purpose in your heart to climb the ladder up (Vision/Dream)

2) Climb the ladder up (Action)

3) Stay there, and help others up. (Fulfillment)

The world would be a better place if we all work with expectation to see this happen, and make it happen! Would you make this your watchword?

Would you make this your watchword?

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 78

Using someone else's system or personal computer without their permission is a very rude and disrespectful act.

The mere fact that you are a family member or friend to someone does not give you the permission or authority to use their personal computer. This (another’s system) cannot be shared or used without permission; it is can be likened to another’s underwear or a man’s wife. You cannot share another’s wife or underwear. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 78

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Little drops...make a mighty ocean!

You can do anything you want in life if you dress for it. ~ Edith Head

What are you doing today to realize your dream? Remember, every little thing you indulge in ultimately count towards your goal. As the popular saying goes, “little drops of water make a mighty ocean.” ~ Marianne Williamson & Nelson Mandela.

Bottom-line: Make sure all you do count towards the big picture; a successful YOU.

Little drops make a mighty ocean!

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Be sure you are ready for the fight!

Today we are engaged in a deadly global struggle for those who would intimidate, torture, and murder people for exercising the most basic freedoms. If we are to win this struggle and spread those freedoms, we must keep our own moral compass pointed in a true direction. ~ Barack Obama

If you must stand and look corruption or unkind deeds in the face, and fight, you must first check inwards to see that you have a clean record to win the battle; else, you may just be ranting for the rest of your life, because no one will take you seriously.

Bottom-line: Let the situation not be, “pot calling kettle black” or “log in your eyes, but removing speck in another’s” Look inwards at all times, and check that you are not part of the menace, before you start injecting your quota of “righting wrong” . Correct?

Be sure you are ready for the fight!

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Hang on there!

Everyone who is regarded as wealthy or rich went through a process to get to the position they are in today. Even those who are being handed inheritances by their parents had to go through life process to keep or increase the same for their children’s children.

There is a destination, but there is a process. Process always comes before destination. Not persevering, dubiously jumping the ropes or not submitting to authority of any kind brings abortion to the process, because, a desperate sheep or sheep without shepherd will eventually get lost.

The deeper the process to your expected end, the higher the destination. If you are going through tough times financially, mentally, educationally, emotionally, etc. I thought I should let you know that, so long you keep your eyes on that mark or expected end, whatever you are going through is for a moment, you will come out stronger than you experienced. Do not think anyone make it at the snap of the fingers, there was, and will always be a process – which is the means to an end.

Abort the get-rich-quick syndrome or mentality, hang on there, before long you will be on the other side of the road--success; there is always a road or process to every desired end. Correct?

Hang on there!

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 77

When you are at a party, and a group of entertainers are told to mount the stage to perform, but they do so without excellence, which is deemed not professional; enjoy it. Do not for any reason make faces at their poor performances or boo them. They are there to entertain after sleepless nights of careful practice; even if you dislike the performance or the performance was full of flaw, just pretend to like it anyways; in a moment the party will be over and you will be out of there.

It is bad manners to boo at people who must have practiced hard and performed poorly. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 77

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Hold yourself deliberately!

“If people use common sense and their own guiding moral compass, I think they'll generally stay out of trouble.” ~ Steve Chabot

" 'Man' has innate evil and good tendencies: deliberately allow the good tendencies in you take the lead always. ~ Ochuko

Never ever be so jealous of another’s success to the extent of wanting to slay them to have what they’ve got. Do not kill for any reason under the heavens, even if it is for a reason as grievous as, “he killed my brother” “she cheated on me” “he had sex with my wife” “he or she laid me off my job” killing cannot, and will never be justified. Offer life the latitude to take revenge on your behalf even if it takes years for life to accomplish this task.

Hold yourself and deliberately allow common sense and the innate good quality that is resident in you rise above the evil tendencies in you, no matter how awful the situation may have played against you . Would you?

Hold yourself deliberately!

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Give it time, and see it play out!

When you are committed to a business or job and you observe that you are being treated with contempt without a reason, and your promotion withheld out of jealousy for the mere fact that you do your job with excellence and preferred among the pack of employees; never mind, stay calm, keep doing what you know best to do, DON'T STOP, let the people themselves fight for you.

Did I hear you say, “No”? Please do not say, “No!” If you ignore the ploy of the “enemy” or “foe”, overtime they will come to you on their knee, explaining, and at the same time clearing the path that will lead you to the place you so earnestly deserve.

“They” closed the path, "they" will open it up over time. Give it time, and see this play out; will you?

Give it time, and see it play out!

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What will you do in the face of injustice?

“I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr

Wherever you find yourself, do not be among individuals who keep mute in the face of injustice; whether in a school, office, home, street, bank, you name it. Confront injustice head-on by yielding to your moral compass, which is your conscience.

Example: An employee of a firm who is so committed and does his job with excellence is about to be promoted to the position of a manager, by owners of the company. The present manager, who happens to be your boss, confides in you that, he (boss) will not let this happen. Your boss is friends with some of the directors, who have vowed they will fight against the move to replace him (the boss). Now, you know the said employee deserves this promotion, and that your boss deserves to be fired, but you are quiet about the ploy against this employee.

Your conscience which is your moral compass, points the way to go about this, and many other injustices being perpetrated by some evil folks around you; what will you do? Will you ignore the jolt your conscience gives to standup for justice? Will you rather lose your job for standing up for justice, by exposing the plan or you succumb to the same wicked game?

What will you do in the face of injustice?

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How to get a good reputation.

“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” ~ Socrates

Example: If you are known for embezzling funds in an organization or wherever you hold a title, make a deliberate change; play by the same rules that guide funds utilization in that organization. Never authorize or use funds without the signature or knowledge of owners/stakeholders of the organization. If you follow this rule, before long, the way you are perceived will change, because the status quo (using funds randomly and covering your track) has changed.

Bottom-line: Wrong deeds can be reversed; whatever action you deemed “bad”, make a deliberate move on changing that “bad” action the next time the same opportunity presents itself. That’s how change is made. Correct?

How to get a good reputation

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Ever experienced distraction?

“Distraction is one of many enemy of progress.” ~ Ochuko

This happens frequently, and I have deliberately refused to allow it take a hold of me; I will purpose in my heart to work on something on a particular day, I will even note it on my note pad, but I will always get distracted, and end up not working on the plan.

Example: Checking my email is always the first thing on my list every day, but I will log-in to my machine and start reading the latest news until the time allotted for mails elapses. Next day, the experience will repeat itself. I have decided that, no matter how enticing the news headline, no news article will be so strong enough to divert my attention from my original plan.

Bottom-line: If you planned doing something, try as much as possible to stick to the plan. Don’t allow friends who talk too much or news on the internet drag you always from the set plan, otherwise, you will never achieve anything. Correct?

Ever experienced distraction?

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 76

“Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge on their children rather than virtue, the art of speaking well rather than doing well; but their manners should be of the greatest concern. “ ~ R. Buckminster Fuller

Parents, as much as you teach your kids to be successful in all their endeavors in life especially financially, teach them manners, and let them know both cannot be separated.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 76

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What does it mean to you?

The idiom “Charity begins at home” connotes a lot of meaning. Some say, it means, you should try to help your family before helping others; others say, it means the reverse of --people focusing more on activities to the detriment of their family. Everyone in-between say, one’s own family comes before country or anything.

All view points to the idiom are correct. I will say; life is all about “live-and-let-live” first at home, and expanding your territory afterwards. In other words, it means, be all you want to be, but give respect to whom respect is due, love and care for all, starting from your immediate family.

Example: If you say, “my country is dirty” and you want to organize a not-for-profit organization with members who would be responsible for sweeping the streets; your first port of call will be at your home, followed by the entrance to your house, next, the street to your house, next, the road to your house, next the local government area, next, a state is covered, and finally, repeating the cycle. This is how charity begins at home. Correct?

What does it mean to you?

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No EDIT button in life!

“There is no edit button in life's screen play; whatever role you take up today will either go down in history as a success story or as a blatant blunder, but you can begin a new role and play it right, as long as there is breath in your nostrils” ~ Ochuko

No-body says, it’s going to be easy, but you have to make the right choices. So, if you have lost everything, do not whimper or shed a tear. Brace up for a new life by doing the reverse of what lead you to trouble in the first place.

Example: If you used to watch too much television or sleep 24/7, channel 90% of that time into something rewarding or beneficial; like indulging in cake-baking for less cash, and using the funds for something rewarding (repeat the cycle) or pay your bills with it. That is the starting point. Correct?

No Edit button in life

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What woud you do?

If your car has exhaust problem, and it constantly announces itself to others wherever it goes (loud sound), your wisdom will be to take it to a car doctor (mechanic) and it will be fixed. Correct?

If the car doctor took one look at the car, and tells you the issue with the car is much more than car exhaust, and you were given a bill for the total cost of repairs which you paid; now, you were called approximately two weeks by the mechanic to come get your fixed car but observe the car problem deteriorated, what would you do?

Arrest the mechanic? Or tell him…?

The simple and short answer is; since you have paid him already, express to him how disappointed you are, and take your car. In the event you have not paid him, tell him you cannot pay for bad service. If he insists you pay, it shows he may be just out for trouble. Give him the money for repairs and go in peace.

Can you do this?

What would you do

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 75

When you hear the doorbell ring or a knock on your door, safety says, “Do not be in a haste to open the door”. You should first peep through the door lens or peep-hole to see that you recognize the person. If you recognize the person, you may open for them. But, in the event, you do not recognize the person through the peep-hole on the door, you should ask the person for their name, and who they want to see, before you open the door.

In both instances, you should wear a smile on your face as you open the door, regardless of whether you know them or not. Courtesy demands you do just that without hesitation.

You do not want to open the door for a visitor with your face as stiff as a rock. A smile will really cost you nothing but good. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 75

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 74

If you are an employee of a firm, and you observe a strange face in your work environment or office, be kind enough to use this phrase by asking this question, “have you been helped or do you need assistance?”

Using the phrase, “have you been helped?” puts them at a confortable position to talk to you.

Do not ever catch yourself staring endlessly at a stranger in your office as though you are the police of the environment. It could just be that, the stranger is confused as to who to ask question or where to go. Courtesy demands that you be kind to visitors or strangers, by so doing you put them at ease. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 74

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 73

There are so many religions and believes on the face of the earth, and people have all the right to make a choice about who to worship.

There are so many people I have met in my life time, and I respect their decision concerning their religion or beliefs. Some practice Christianity (as I am) and worship in churches, while others practice Sikhism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Shinto, Judaism, Islam, Babism, etc.

Courtesy demands that you respect the religion of others, by so doing you gain their (persons of other religion) respect too. Otherwise, whatever you say to them (persons of other religion) regarding another religion besides theirs, will definitely fall on deaf ears.

Bottom-line: Never ever allow yourself to become very critical of people of other religious beliefs besides yours. If they (persons of other religion besides yours) do not seem to comprehend your religion or beliefs, leave them alone. Would you?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 73

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 72

When you visit friends or loved ones at their homes, do not be quick to make judgment as to why the house is painted green and not blue. Whose house is it anyway?

Courtesy and respect for people and their homes demands you visit and accept whatever you find uninteresting, dirty or awkward or you quietly make a flimsy excuse why you have to leave so soon.

Nobody wants to accommodate someone who is disrespectful, and critical of the appearance of their home. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 72

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 71

Some people are very good at helping others financially, and others cannot because of liabilities or whatever reason. I have helped so many people before in my life, and I have also been helped before by so many, and some I still owe till this day.

As published yesterday; when you owe someone, have the decency or courtesy to payback what you owe. This standard also holds true or applies to those who assist others financially; do not by any means catch yourself playing judge, being brutal or merciless to those who could not meet up with the payment plan for the money they owe you. Also, you who were assisted financially should not take for granted the help rendered to you by deliberately not keeping up with payment plan in place.

Life is sometimes funny, and fair too. It may just be that, tomorrow (two days or twenty years’ interval), the one who was merciless to the borrower may just be the one asking for assistance, either from the one they once assisted or from an entirely difference person altogether. And, the one who took advantage of the lender, asking for more assistance, which may not be granted because one foolish act. Do not be either the foolish borrower or the foolish lender. Be wise and courteous!

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 71

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 70

When you are given a gift willingly by someone, learn how to receive by taking it and saying, “thank you”. And when you loan money from friends, keep to your promise of returning same, and if you can’t keep-up with payments, courtesy demands that you let the lender know about the issues you have at hand that is stopping you from keeping to your end of the bargain. Finally, there are gifts one will receive that are not really a gift, but a test.

The other day I asked my boss if she could assist me with 20 bucks, and that I will return it the next day, as I needed to buy something instantly. She assisted me with it and made this comment, “please use it and do not bother to pay back”. I nodded, and the next day returned it to her. That was my wisdom. She laughed and said, “please come back take it” and I said, “no please, I promised I was going to return it and I should do just that.”

Manners and consideration should come to play in situations as this, not only on the fact that the lender worked hard for their money, but that promises of return should be kept. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 70

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 69

Life is about consideration for one another. It is about selfless living and giving. It is about being happy to see another succeed, and sad if another fails, regardless of whether or not you are failing or succeeding.

Also, it is not about out-doing one another or causing untold pain to one another. We may never fathom why some people indulge in stuff that hurts others. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life, but not at the expense of another.

If you need to have a party in a neighborhood where there are clustered houses, you may need to send party invitation to neighbors who are living close to your house or apartment that maybe affected by the music that would blare from your home on the day of your party. Doing this is an indirect way of telling them, “Please, forgive me in advance for any noise this may cause.” So, on the day of the party, you will not get a knock on your door for public disturbance, which is categorized as “misdemeanor.”

Courtesy in all earnest, requires you put your neighbors in the "know" of an impending noise, so they gear-up for it; otherwise you will not be at rest. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 69

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Endless torture vs Endless peace and liberty

“Falsehood equals endless torture, but the truth spoken at all times equal’s endless peace and liberty.” ~ Ochuko

What is torture? In my own words, torture is a deliberate act that leads one to an emotional, mental, and physical state of restlessness. "Lies telling" can cause one to be in this state. So, why tell a lie? A lie told requires many more lies for the sake of covering-up the very first lie. Why repeatedly go through torture to gain the trust of people? Do you not know that engaging in lie-telling is the worse torture one can bring upon themselves?

Is it not better to tell the truth and immediately loose friends or associates, but in the long run gain them; than gain the trust of friends with a lie, and in the long run loose them after they discover the truth?

Telling the truth “as-is” and at all times is the best life one can ever live. It does not matter what people may feel or say; it is all about you and your peace of mind/freedom. Remember, no –one will ever fathom the pain you may go through by not telling the truth, but certainly, everyone will come to understand why you told the truth and in the end come to love and rely on you like never before. Tell the truth always! Would you?

Endless torture versus Endless peace and liberty!

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