Simple courtesy for responsible living - 49

Learn to congratulate people on their achievements no matter how minute. They even may have beaten you in a debate, a sports event, or an election in school or government; still congratulate them. It is a sign of civility and kindness.

Achievements in this light could be a newlywed, someone who just graduated from school, someone who got promoted, someone who gave birth or bought a car, the list is endless. You can practice doing that today, if you haven’t already.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 49

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 48

There are so many people that cannot do without a phone for a second. Either they are checking every now and again for updates on Facebook or they are just fiddling with their “phone pet”. I had an experience once while talking with a friend, she kept punching buttons on her phone without giving me attention while I talked, and I wondered if I was talking to myself, after a while though I stopped talking and left. This act is no longer one done in private, but also done in public.

Please for your good and others, desist from punching buttons on your phone in an official meeting, and remember to switch off your phone or put it in silent mode when in a cinema or when with interviewers. You do not want to get kick in the dark at the cinema or loose a potential job position because of an avoidable habit. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 48

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 47

Have you ever heard someone saying the doctor was the cause of death of their loved one?

In my opinion, this is an inaccurate and unkind remark. Doctors help to save lives, and no one doctor is out to undo a patient. Yes, it is frustrating and painful when a loved one dies but it is unkind to say the doctor killed them. Be kind and gracious for all the work doctors do always. Don’t catch yourself saying anything incurrate and unkind against the people who help save lives in the way they know best to do.

Bottom-line: Do not make the doctor the object of your frustration at any time.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 47

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 46

When you are in a gathering or in the midst of people, make it a habit not to point your fingers when trying to show someone something in the crowd; it will be assumed you are talking about someone.

Pointing does not tell well of you, it only shows to others how limited your knowledge on public affairs is. You do not want to portray that. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 46

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The manner you serve reflects who you serve.

"You serve me and the manner in which you serve me reflects upon me" ~ The Patriot.

It does not matter who you are or where you are from; when you are in a leadership position, no matter how small or large, remember to serve with dignity, respect, integrity, transparency and justly or impartially too. When these qualities are displayed, it reflects who you serve and reveals your true identity.

The manner you serve reflects who you serve.

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Whatever you do in life is for yourself.

“Life is beautiful and comes with many challenges; do not be deterred but be undaunting and unbended through all of life’s processes, in the end you will be a strong edifice” ~ Ochuko.

Through each processes or phases in life you will always encounter people, the rich, the wealthy, the poor, the strong, the religious, the sick, the healthy, the wise, the foolish, the weak, the strong, the wicked, the kind, the trickster/fraudulent, the powerful, the helpless, the homeless, the lost and lots more

Be mindful of how you treat each category of persons, so you can go through your process smoothly. Do not swindle to get over a challenge and think that, that is being smart. Whatever you do to anyone of these persons regardless of their positions, you are actually doing for yourself. Example: If you paid for a house for the homeless, you did it for yourself. If you despise the wealthy or the rich, you despised yourself and may never be wealthy or rich. Likewise, If you steal from someone, you stole from yourself or if you despise the poor, you might find yourself in those shoes.

So, be careful what you do and say, because whatever you do or say on the face of the earth is done and said for YOU; that's just the way life is.

Whatever you do in life is for yourself.

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 45

If you are invited for a function and there is an instruction for dress code; please dress as instructed. People who have a set of instruction as dress codes are normally meticulous persons and great organizers.

Courtesy, honor or honour and due regard should compel you to follow strictly those instructions because they are not for show. They are for a reason, particularly to add color or colour to their day. You do not want to be classified as unkind and selfish because of your "no regard" for dress code instructions. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 45

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 44

When you are with friends or family members that are with kids, and you feel like doing catch-up about lost or old times you must carefully pick your words.

Love for family and courtesy should compel you to be careful as you speak, so the kids would not be exposed to things they should not be involved with in the first place and at an early age as a result of careless talking. Remember kids tend to mimic adults sometimes, so save that story for next time to save the kids from imitating you. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 44

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You can overcome every challenge, trust me!

“Every man who rises above the common level has received two educations: the first from his teachers; the second, more personal and important, from himself.” ~ Edward Gibbon

Transition, shift or change in any form will never cease to exist in our lives from birth to old age. We must learn to embrace these transitions and handle them or manage them wisely. Young children or pre-teens transition as young children to the teen phase which comes with huge confusion and misunderstanding about their bodies and life in general. Adulthood is another phase that comes with its own challenges.

We can learn our bodies, environment, things we encounter in life daily and be able to manage them properly. If one is confused about anything, they can see someone who has passed that particular phase for help. Learning about life can take place in the four walls of a formal school, an informal setting (either from a group of people with like minds or from the elderly). One builds himself up by asking questions or by reading about things from books or the internet (Google).

If you cannot handle the phase of transition you are in, please seek help from grandma, grandpa, young parents or a doctor (if it has anything to do with your body) or see a reliable teacher at school or a reliable boss in the office or better still a mentor concerning financial or whatever challenges you face, and you will definitely get help.

You can maneuver your way through these transitions and be a master at handling life as it comes if you can embrace personal teachings from others who have already overcome. Be wise!

You can overcome every challenge, trust me!

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That's what life is all about!

Do not be self-absorbed; think others always ~ Ochuko

Your car is not your love. Your house is not your love. Your cat is not your love. Your bank account is not your love. Your job is not your love. The shoes or cloths you adore are not your love. You owe your family and fellow humans’ eternal love.

Inanimate objects do not deserve the love we give them much more than our family, friends and the needy/poor. If you really want to succeed big in life, aspire to be an open doorway for humanity in little ways.

Pay someone’s bills. Pay someone’s fees. Take someone out for lunch. Share gifts on your birthday. Send a meal to someone, give a car gift to someone who needs it, buy a new tire for someone’s car; there is so much to do for someone especially the needy…that’s what life is all about!

That's what life is all about!

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 43

Courtesy is about positive messages coated with scented aroma as opposed to negative messages coated with repelling aroma. Courtesy paints a rosy picture about you that screams the words, “I am beautiful but negative words paints the picture about you that screams, “I am ugly.” ~ Ochuko

Everyone employed by an organization is a staff of that organization and they all deserve respect regardless of the position they occupy.

Cleaners who are at the bottom of the corporate ladder are supposed to be regarded as much as top executives of firms, not because of their positions, but because they are first humans.

Cleaners for instance are meant to clean the office every work day before the arrival of the administrative staff, and when they do this, they are surprised by the food remains around the work area of some staff. As a result, these so called admin staff are tagged a nuisance which breeds disregard and disrespect for them (admin staff).

Why will a staff’s work area be littered with food particles and biscuit wraps day in day out?

You do not want to litter your work area with the mind that the cleaner will clean it; that is considered disrespect (repelling aroma), which will be served to you just as you served it. Treat others as you will have them treat you always (scented aroma), do not litter your work area because the cleaner will clean it the next morning; use the waste basket. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 43

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 42

Being courteous sends a beautiful ambience to those around you ~ Ochuko

Sometimes, it is hard to remember people’s names, especially when they are introduced swiftly, and running into the same person that was once introduced earlier and not remembering his/her name when one is supposed to be introducing them to one’s friends is not a crime; it becomes a crime when one deliberately introduces others around by name to this person and not introduce this person to others by name.

If at any time you run into someone that was introduced to you earlier, and you could not remember their name while introducing them to someone else, you should make a joke out of it, like, “hey, meet my friend Rosy, Rosy meet…oh this wind that steals names just stole your name, please forgive me, what’s the name again” and everybody laughs; that settles it. Please do not play blind to issues like this, it does not tell well of you.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 42

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It is not always about ME, but about YOU.

Believe it or abhor it; acts of love and kindness are embedded with priceless rewards that benefits both the giver and the receiver ~ Ochuko

Whenever I walk towards an entrance, I would normally look over my shoulder to see if anyone is following closely; if someone is following closely, I will hold the entrance door for them and release same as soon as they reach for the handle.

This morning, I was walking to towards an entrance to a planned destination, and I decided to apply the ritual of looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is following closely, then I saw someone carrying a ladder on his shoulder from about 40 meters from me. I had the option of going through the entrance and shutting the door behind me without waiting for him, considering the distance. But, I allowed love and kindness take over the decision making side of my brain by saying to myself, “He is carrying a ladder, if I go through this door without waiting, who will open the door for him?” Next option was the answer to the question I just asked myself, “He will drop the ladder, open the door and drag the ladder through the door”. Then, I thought to myself, “Why don’t you be just nice by waiting and holding the door for him till he gets here, since he is alone and no one around to help him?”

I finally chose to open the door, waited for him to go through the door and went into the building after him.

Now, I was the better for it. I was so happy I helped him. He had a great smile on his face that said, “You are an angel” and he said, “thank you”. Thank you was the best gift that started my day.

Choose to help someone in your own little way today; remember you and the receiver will benefit greatly; it is not always about you, but about someone else.

It is not always about ME but about YOU.

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 41

Have you ever been to a party or function where the Master or Mistress of Ceremony cleans his/her sweaty face with their hands or shirt/top?

This is what is regarded as bad manners. For the love of the people at the function and love of the camera man doing the coverage, would it not be nice to simply invite some random person over to the stage to perform while they go take care of their sweaty face?

It is bad manners and outright disregard to the people at table with you or at a function, watch you clean your sweet with your hands because sooner or later you will shake somebody’s hands and pass the sticky waste in their hands, which is not nice at all.

The right thing to do if you forgot your handkerchief, is to go into the restroom or toilet, rollout some paper towel or tissues, stuff them in your pocket - that way you improvised by using tissue instead of your hands, which is far better. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 41

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Why can't we all be like children?

The other day, I entered a mall/shopping centre and heard a child of about 3years old standing with his parents, shouting and screaming on top of his voice while dancing in front of everyone, and generally oblivious of his environment.

It struck me; and the message that flowed into my heart/mind was, “why can’t we all as adults be like this child who is as free as a bird?” obviously, he was not in competition with anyone, he definitely had no enemy nor friend, he saw the world differently, he was not bothered if he had stayed too long in the mall with his parents, he did not mind if someone was looking at him disdainfully, all he knew was that he was in a safe place, he saw every human as the same, he cared less of what anyone thought of him so long he was doing the right thing, he could play if he wanted to, and he could just be who he wanted to be without someone shoving a course down his throat. He was my little angel.

I think we all can definitely be like this child. What do you think?

Why can't we all be like children?

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 40

“What was that?” Everyone asked fanning themselves with anything close by that can push the smell very far and with eyeballs rolling to the left and to the right searching for a sign that will give whoever that caused this discomfort up. “Someone just farted!” Juliet replied.

This kind of situation is embarrassing, annoying, and anything but nice. Please, if you must fart, courtesy and respect for everyone around inclusive of yourself demands that you excuse yourself and see the restroom/bathroom/toilet for ease from fart/gas. Do not find yourself releasing fart in the midst of others, as it is not a kind thing to indulge in.

You do not want to be in a smelly atmosphere caused by someone at any point in time, so it is best to refrain from spoiling an atmosphere by doing the right thing; use the bathroom/toilet.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 40

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It's not too late to start over; Just start!

This paraphrased quote is by someone whom I do not know and so cannot ascribe credit, but I love it, “we all make sandwich but you don’t have to eat the sandwich you have made; you can make another sandwich that’s far better than the first.”

In essence, time is not of the essence when it comes to rebuilding a life you deem worthless or not proud of. You have your life before you, it does not matter where you are right now or where you have been. If you think all these years you have been living a false life or living life to please someone else but you, there is still room and time for redirection. You are going to hurt a lot of people but start over any ways.

Think about it; if you did a B.Sc/BS or MS/MS degree to please someone else, you would be doing a job you don’t like. That’s not a place you want to be. It’s never too late to hit it right. You will still get old anyways whether or not you start over, but starting over will pay you in the long run. It’s never too late to start making informed decisions. It’s never too late to take a course you like, not the one some else likes for you. It’s never too late to be a better father/mother. It's not too late to be a better daughter or son. It’s never too late to build closeness with your family. It's never too late to be a better teacher, employee, boss, businessman etc.

If an architect discovers there is a mistake in a house he/she took months to build, they will break that part and rebuild it or break down the whole structure and rebuild entirely to avoid future collapse. Your life is much better than that of a building. Don't let your life crumble before you. It not too late to start over, just start!

It's not too late to start over; Just start!

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Choose politeness over rudeness; it will pay you big.

Here is a popular legend by Arthur Schopenhauer, “It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude. To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire. For politeness is like a counter—an avowedly false coin, with which it is foolish to be stingy.”

Politeness/courtesy will cost a person nothing; it will only open several doors that everybody deem hard to open, take you places that rude persons won't get to and this will be done in record speed. In contrast, being rude or impolite will cost you a lot; it will cause all doors to be shut, enemies will be brewed in record speed and at the tick of the clock, finally a person’s downfall.

Choose courtesy and politeness over rudeness/incivility and see where it takes you.

Choose politeness over rudeness; it will pay you big

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 39

If you were given gifts after hosting a wedding ceremony or party, be sure to send a thank you note to all who sent or gave you a gift.

This is important because they gave you gifts out of their free will. Therefore, courtesy demands you show appreciation by sending a thank you note after the ceremony to all you gave you a gift, and if possible to those who attended; one week interval is most appropriate for a short but beautifully written "thank you note".

Bottom-line: Do not take for granted acts of love such as this. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 39

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Choose to be called "not smart" over stupid.

If a boss or a superior calls you into their office and verbally recites to you series of assignments to work on, politely tell them you may need to get a pen and a note pad. If they decline and tell you to listen intently, do just that, and then go about working on the assignments afterwards. But, at any point you forget a piece of the assignment, go back and ask them politely to remind you.

Do not be scared or reluctant to ask with the notion they will perceive you as "not smart"; not asking and pretending everything is fine when outcome of assignment is poor is worse than being not smart.

Choose to rather have them tag you “not smart” than being called stupid.

Choose to be called "not smart" over stupid.

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 38

When you are at a parking lot hovering around looking for a parking space and you finally sight one but notice that someone else is also driving towards the same space, be sure to look at who is behind the wheels; If it is a lady courtesy demands that you deliberately allow her have that space and find another for yourself, but if it is a man courtesy demands one of you allow the other have the space depending on who got there first. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 38

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Don't you worry; don't despair!

When something "bad" happens to you or when you are asked to leave a place or you are “sacked” the obvious and first response will be to cry or to ask, “Why?” especially when you know you have been acting right. You need not cry or ask “why?” because every time something occurs on the face of the earth, it happens for a reason. There is always a reason behind every act, move or happening around you, and this is not what you can fathom. It is actually beyond your scope but just always know that things don’t just happen.

A door sometimes closes to signify the end of an era or phase in your life and to usher in the next era or phase. Most importantly a door must have been opened all these while that would have taken you to that next phase you are supposed to be in, but only waiting for the right timing, and that time you were sacked or dropped as a business associate or whatever, was the right timing.

In a sense you might be thinking you have lost the best job, house, business partners and what have you, but the best is really much more than you see now. Dust your curriculum vitae, adjust it with current details about you, adjust you and the way you perceive things and throw your net out there because you may be in for the next big catch of your life. Or go reach out to businesses not minding the level you are at, and tell them what you can offer; the next best thing might just be delivered to you on a platter of gold.

There is something bigger, brighter and better every single time; the time it occurs is inconsequential. It is not your duty to fathom. Brace up, be strong and be ready to embrace change!

Don't you worry; don't despair

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 37

If you plan on inviting people over to your house for a party of whatever magnitude, be sure to give them advance notice of at least two months or more, so they can incorporate you into their plan. That the party is very important will be inconsequential when it comes to making a decision whether or not to attend as schedule will be a very important element in making that decision.

So, sending an invitation to friends and loved ones about a party that will take place 5 days interval or one (1) week interval is not fair, and also not a respectful act. You do not want them to miss attending your party, right? Then please, don’t take pride in distributing cards 5days before the start of a party.

Bottom-line: Courtesy and fair act demands that you give them enough notice so they can incorporate you into their busy schedule, otherwise you will be left with RSVP that says, “thank you for the kind invitation but I regret to inform you I cannot attend due to an upcoming event”. You do not want to receive that kind of message. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 37

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 36

If a friend, business partner or associate sends a birthday or marriage invitation card to you, be sure to read the information contained therein, and do not overlook the section for RSVP. Courtesy demands that you RSVP to affirm you will attend or not. RSVP helps the host plan for his/her guest. If you are sure you will attend and vice versa, it is proper to RSVP else you make planning difficult for the host. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 36

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 35

If you go on a visit and you are served a meal along with other visitors, say, “thank you” before you start asking questions about the ingredient used in preparing the meal to confirm mushroom is not one them.

If you are told that mushroom is part of the ingredient used, do not immediately show you are allergic to it and irritate others. Courtesy demands that you smile and wait a few seconds, then excuse yourself and ask to use the restroom/bathroom.

On your way to the bathroom, you can alert the person that’s walking you about the issue at hand, before you are through using the bathroom another meal will be served you without anyone noticing. You do not want to grab unnecessary attention at table. Correct?

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 34

All employees are representatives of the organization they work for. If you are a receptionist or waiter/waitress, you are the representative and face of the organization you work for. This position can either make or break an organization’s customer base.

As a receptionist, it is pertinent to have good manners and show courtesy to customers. When you are on the phone with a customer and a walk-in customer stands in front of you while you are still on the phone, it is display of professionalism, good manners and show of courtesy when you make eye contact combined with signaling of hand that, you will be with them in a moment.

Not doing this, can be likened to someone with very bad manners and without character, and this can make the customer to not repeat the call, mark you as one of these folks without character, and finally tell everyone they meet about you.

That’s not what you want to project. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 34

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 33

When you go on a visit to the home of a friend or family member, and you are told to make yourself comfortable, that is not the time to go around the house, from kitchen to room and library and generally just checking around the house.

That definitely is not a wise thing to do. The worse thing to do after moving around is to take a book or film from the collection in the library without telling the host and having the intention of returning it. That is considered stealing.

Courtesy demands that you seek the permission of the host to do anything regardless of the fact that you were asked to make yourself comfortable.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 33

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 32

When you are watching television with others and a call comes through to your phone, pls do not receive the call right there and start chatting away not minding the presence of others.

Courtesy demands that you say, “excuse me” then, get up and walk to a private space or outside the house and take the call. But, in a situation the phone is a stationary one, just excuse yourself and take the call.

When you take a call from a mobile phone in the midst of others watching television, it spells disrespect, that’s not what you want to project. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 32

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 31

Take a deep breath before you respond to these questions; when you received a missed call or voice on your mobile or immobile phone what do you do? Do you just take a look at your phone or listen to the voice message and then ignore the caller?

In my opinion, people who take out time to make a call through to someone care or have a message. If they do not have a message they probably want to hear the voice of the that person.

It is not a nice thing to ignore missed calls or voice messages. Courtesy and respect coupled with kind act, demands that you return calls or voice messages.

Not returning messages or calls communicates to the person at the other end that you don’t want them to associate with you. Their reaction may be, to delete your phone number or defriend you. And that’s not what you want. It only takes 2minutes to return a call, why not return those calls effective from today.

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 31

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 30

There is a popular legend which states that, communication is not complete until there is a corresponding response.

When someone sends you an email either officially or personally, asking you to perform tasks, send them feedback that you received their mail, and that you will work on the tasks as soon as possible. When you are done with the tasks, follow through by sending another email that you have completed the tasks. This way everybody will be informed on the latest about the task.

This act is not only professional, it is also a courteous and priceless act, and it can propel you forward to that place you so desire in a short period. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 30

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Simple courtesy for responsible living - 29

When you are complimented in anyway regardless of the fact that you don’t like that particular thing that attracted a compliment, do not say, “Really? I do not like it”. Recieve the compliment just as simple as it came, smile and say, “thank you”.

The moment you say, "are you sure its beautiful or i don't like it" you are actually communicating one thing, "stop complimenting me" and that is not what you really want to communicate.

Courtesy always demands that you say, "thank you" when you receive a compliment. Correct?

Simple courtesy for responsible living - 29

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